Half-Free

I’ve watched your eyes pierce me

Like shackles around my ankles

Keeping my feet

Evenly distanced

Allowing me to move,

But not walk

Half free,

Just so that I could not say

You tried to cage me

Because I was half-free

So that was your out

I’ve watched lightning bugs

Flicker behind your eyes

And I’ve watched you throw water on their wings

Just to drown them,

Killing them slowly

You didn’t swap them with a newspaper,

For that would have been cruel

I’ve watched your fever paralyze you

Your brain takes a trip

When the pain kicks you in the nuts

And I’m there with you,

Holding you in my arms

Your body limp

Uncertain if you’ll return

And I wonder if this is what death is like

When you’re speaking at me

And not to me

Your forgiving door closed off to winter

And to me

I’ve watched car wrecks behind your eyes

I’ve seen myself plastered under the wheel of a truck

And I’ve watched you run me over

Backing the car up over my legs

Leaving me half-alive

Not quite dead

Allowing me to move my arms,

Allowing me to move my fingers,

Allowing me to move my toes

But not to walk